When Yosemite Sam, running for election as Mayor in a small town, promises voters a rabbit in every pot he has gone too far, and Bugs Bunny makes it his job to stop him.

Transcript

Scene: A turn of the century country town main street. Banners are strung across the street with “Sam for Mayor”, “Vote for Sam”, “Sam’s the Man”

Yosemite Sam (off screen): and I stand on this platform, I stand for union -

The camera pans across to a grandstand in a park where Yosemite Sam is spruiking for votes.

Yosemite Sam: – Union suits and union stations. For the little people. there is enough fresh air and sunshine in this great country of ours for everybody. and I’ll see to it that you get your share

The camera pans around the grandstand and down under it. Coming out of a hole in the ground Bugs Bunny opens a tin of carrot juice and drinks from it.

Yosemite Sam: and I’ll keep my promise to rid this country of every last rabbit

Bugs chokes on the carrot juice when he hears Sam’s words and spits

Bugs Bunny (horrified): Last rabbit? Hey! This calls for stragety (sic) I’ll fight fire with fire!

The scene fades out and we return to Sam in the grandstand

Yosemite Sam: So remember, vote for Honest Sam! Sam’s the Man!

Sam hears a trombone and drum playing nearby and looks around to find the source of the distraction

Bugs is dressed in a red band uniform, blowing a trombone while playing a drum with “Vote for Bugs Bunny” written on it. Sam is momentarily taken aback, then jumps up and pulls guns out of both of his holsters

Yosemite Sam: Shut off that jutiebox ! I can’t hear myself a speachin’

Sam shoots at Bugs and the drum deflates with bullet holes, the trombone is ruined and Bugs’ band member uniform is tattered and torn

Yosemite Sam: Now where was I? Oh yes – 2 rabbits in every pot!

Bugs interrupts Sam

Bugs Bunny: Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Sam’s crowd turns to see what the disturbance is

Bugs Bunny: Get on the Bugs Bunny bandwagon

The camera cuts to Bugs in a booth marked “Vote for Bugs”. He is wearing a large cowboy hat

Bugs Bunny (vote gathering voice): From the rockbound coast of Maine, to the smoggy shores of Californi-a

Bugs Bunny (normal voice): That is a long walk

Bugs ducks down under the booth and comes up wearing wire rimmed lasses and a mustache

Bugs Bunny (Teddy Roosevelt voice): I speak softly

Bugs waves a piece of wood

Bugs Bunny (Teddy Roosevelt voice): but I carry a big stick!

The crowd cheers and hats are thrown in the air

Sam looks angrily back and forth across the crowd cheering for Bugs and runs over to Bugs’ booth

Yosemite Sam: Oh yeah? Well I speak loud and I carry a bigger stick and I use it too

Sam hits Bugs over the head and Bugs slides down behind the booth, unconscious

Yosemite Sam: and besides! I love babies! Show me babies! Lots of babies! Wheres the babies?

Sam sees a baby in a carriage and rushes up and kisses it. As Sam runs on to the next baby, the first baby spits to get rid of the Sam taste.

Yosemite Sam: Line up the babies! Where are the darlin’s?

Sam spies another baby under a tree and jumps in the pram to kiss the baby.

Yosemite Sam: I’m just wild about children!

A third pram has a baby in it, dress in pink, with a little pink bonnet. It is Bugs, in disguise. Sam runs up to the pram, but Bugs reaches out and smacks a big kiss on Sam. Sam looks a little shocked, and Bugs jumps out of the pram and cries.

Bugs Bunny (baby voice): He bit my wittle nose! wahahaha! he bit my wittle nose! The bad man bit my wittle nose

A group of matrons gathers around Sam and beat him over the head with an umbrella

Yosemite Sam (worried): but, but, but…

Ladies, various: You brute! Take that! Run him out of town!

New scene – Bugs has a stand on a corner marked ‘Free Cigars’, with ‘Vote for a square deal’ tacked on a nearby building wall. He has a box of cigars in his hand.

Bugs Bunny: Hurry, hurry, hurry, get your free cigars! Every cigar is a vote for Bugs Bunny!

Sam rushes up, with his guns pointing at Bugs.

Yosemite Sam: Get out of here, rabbit! If there is any giving away of cee-gars, Yosemite Sam’ll give ‘em!

Bugs Bunny: OK, Sam! Its all yours.

Bugs walks away and Sam takes over the booth

Yosemite Sam: Step up, gents! Big hearted Sam is giving away cigars because he loves the people!

Bugs’ hand reaches in and swaps out the box of ‘Smello’ cigars with a box marked “Atom Explosive Cigar – you will get a bang out of this”

A man walks past Sam.

Yosemite Sam: Here you are, mister!

Man: Gee, thanks!

The man sniffs the cigar appreciatively.

Yosemite Sam: Let Good ole Sam light it for you.

Sam strikes a match and lights the cigar.

As the man puffs on the cigar it explodes.

Man: Oh, a wise guy, huh?

The man punches Sam out of the scene

New scene: A park. A banner hangs across the area “Free Picnic – Bugs Bunny for Mayor”. Bugs is setting out food and drink on a large picnic blanket

Bugs Bunny: This free feed ought to get me a lot of votes.

Yosemite Sam peers around a monument in the park to watch Bugs. He opens a box labeled “assorted picnic ants”. One ant emerges and plays Reveille on a bugle then yells “Charge!”. Many ants run out of the box to the William Tell Overture.

As Bugs moves bottles of drinks into a larger bucket full of ice, the ants run past behind him and take all the food back to Sam

Bugs finally notices.

Bugs looks annoyed then slightly off-put as he notices a whole string of sausages being taken away by the ants, with one ant atop with a whip. The ant yells “Ya! Mule! Ya! Ya!” repeatedly.

Sam takes all the food from the ants and puts it in a sack.

With some annoyance, Bugs notices a watermelon walking past him.

He lifts the watermelon and we see it was being carried by a single ant who walks on, not noticing the watermelon is missing.

Bugs cuts a triangular piece from the watermelon, strikes a match and lights a piece of dynamite which he places in the watermelon. He closes the watermelon by replacing the cut-out triangular piece. Bugs puts the watermelon back on the ant, who carries it back to Sam.

Sam chuckles as he places each item in his sack , including the watermelon. The chuckles increases to a maniacal laugh as he decides he has everything, shoulders the sack and walks around the corner. There is a large explosion from the direction Sam took and we see all the picnic food flying through the air.

Yosemite Sam: I hate that rabbit!

New scene: Sam is dragging a small cannon past a shop front labeled “Bugs Bunny Headquarters”. Sam stops and peers briefly in the window, then turns the cannon to face the wooden door and ties the firing string to the doorknob.

Yosemite Sam: Nobody’ll vote for a flattened out rabbit skin, I always say!

Sam sneaks around the building and knocks boldly on the back door. Bugs answers.

Bugs Bunny: Oh, you!

Yosemite Sam: Yes, Rabbit. I’ve come to extend my hand in friendship. I like you, Rabbit! You’re a good Joe.

Sam hugs Bugs, then knocks his heel on the floor to simulate a knock on the door.

Yosemite Sam: Someone knocking at your front door, rabbit.

Bugs Bunny: ‘scuse me, Doc – I’ll be right back!

Bugs walks offstage to the front door

Yosemite Sam (to himself): In little bitty pieces.

Sam chuckles and sticks his fingers in his ears.

Bugs Bunny: That was someone for you, Sam. She said to mention St Louis.

Yosemite Sam: St Louis? (Sam jumps up and down in excitement) Emma! Yahoo! Emma! Here’s your Sammy boy!

Sam runs (offstage) to the front door.

There is an explosion off scene. Bugs winces.

Sam returns, swaying, covered in soot and half his hair blown off.

Yosemite Sam: Yep, same ole Emma. Full’a laughs

Sam collapses

New scene: Sam and Bugs are on the bandstand in the park again.

Bugs Bunny: I can do anything you can do, only better.

Yosemite Sam: No you cain’t!

Bugs Bunny: Yes I can.

Yosemite Sam: Ok then, can you play a piana (sic)?

Bugs Bunny: Have you got a piana?

Yosemite Sam: Sure have! Wait right here, varmint, and I’ll get you one in a jiffy!

Sam runs from the bandstand, across the park and enters a shed with a sign saying “Pianos repaired”.

Sam chuckles maniacally as he fills the back of the piano with TNT and wires the contraption together. He carries the full size piano back to the bandstand on his back.

Yosemite Sam: There’s your piana, rabbit. Now lets see you play it!

Bugs approaches the piano and Sam runs out behind a nearby tree.

Bugs starts to play the tune “Endearing Young Charms”, quite slowly, from a displayed piece of music. We can see that one of the white keys is wired to the explosives in the back of the piano. Bugs misplays the tune to miss the key that is wired to the explosives

Sam comes out from behind his tree to yell at Bugs

Yosemite Sam: No! Thats not it! Try it again!

Sam returns behind his tree. Bugs misplays the piece, slowly, again. Sam is unable to bear the misplayed music and runs back again.

Yosemite Sam: Oh, you stupid rabbit! Like this!

Sam plays the tune correctly and the piano explodes when he hits the wired key.

When the smoke clears, Sam has had all his hair blown off and collapses

New scene: Sam chases Bugs down the street, shooting at him.

Sam and Bugs both pull up short to see a parade going past the end of the street. A marching band passes, then a black convertible limousine with a horse in the back seat, laughing horsily. The car is labeled “Our New Mare”. The crowd cheers

Bugs Bunny: Dark horse?

Yosemite Sam: Mare?

Sam and Bugs look at each other, astonished. Bugs pulls out a gun.

Bugs Bunny: Well, anyone for Russian Roulette?

Sam takes the gun, points it at his head and pulls the trigger. Nothing happens.

He hands the gun to Bugs who points it at his head. The screen fades to black and we hear a gun shot.

The screen un-fades over Bugs and we see he has ducked and the gun is pointing over his head.

Bugs Bunny: Hee! I missed!

The screen unfades even more and we see that Sam has been shot

Yosemite Sam: I hate that rabbit!

Thats all, folks!