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Bugs Bunny attempts a peaceful, quiet holiday in the Ozarks, but is annoyed by two hillbillies who claim they are feuding with him. Tricking them into a square dancing competition, you know it will only end badly for them!
:peaceful music:
Map: the Ozarks, in Kansas
We see an Idyllic Countryside
Bugs (off-camera, sings): I like mountain music, good old mountain music, played by a real hillbilly band
The camera pans to show Bugs walking down a dirt country road
Bugs (speaks): vacation in the Ozarks. So quiet, so peaceful, so far from harm and danger, so –
A gun pokes Bugs in the head
Bugs: Huh?
Bugs looks up the barrel of the gun to see an eye looking back at him. The eye blinks
Bugs laughs dismissively
Bugs: Oh, Murgatroyd, look what crawled out of the woodwork!
We see a hillbilly with stereotypical one-shouldered dungarees and large hat.
He pulls the trigger on his long rifle, the hammer clicks and the reaction slowly work its way down the gun
There is a loud explosion and when the smoke clears we see that Bugs’ carrot has been shot full of holes, but he is fine
Bugs: Nyee, what’s up, doc?
Curt: Be y’all a Martin or be y’all a Coy, Rabbit?
Bugs: (coyly): well, my friends say I am very coy. Teehee
Curt: A Coy? Square off, you shote, me and you is feuding on account of I’m a Martin
Curt pulls the trigger again. The shot proceeds slowly again
Bugs: Boohoo, Now I’ll never see my wife and youngins again. Boohoohoo.
We cut back to Curt who is suddenly shocked, then angry
Curt: Hey you durn fool, whats the idea of tieing knots in my rifle barrel?
The camera pans back and we see that Bugs has tied a bow in the end of the gun. The gun fires in his face
Curt: just call me freckles
Bugs: Well, that’s that – now to get back to that peace and quiet I was talking about
Another gun barrel, even longer than the first, pokes Bugs
Pumpkinhead Martin: Who art thou, critter
Bugs: and just who might you be?
Pumpkinhead Martin: I might be Teddy Roosevelt, but I ain’t. My name is Pumpkinhead Martin and I seen what you all done to my brother
Bugs: Your brother? well, glad to know you Pumpkin
Bugs attempts to shakes hands with Pumpkinhead
Bugs: any brother of your brother is a –
P (interrupts): Hold the phone, long ears. I’m aiming to terminate this little feud right now. Now hold still…
Pumpkin pulls the trigger. The charge takes so long on the longer gun that Bugs has time to sneak along under the gun and remove the wooden stock,
P: Huh?
Bugs take the stock back to other end of the rifle, replaces it there and *deus ex machine* the shot is now going the other way
Pumpkinhead waves goodbye to us. The shot explodes. When the smoke clears, Pumpkinhead’s hat is full of holes. Pumpkinhead shakes out shot from his ears, empties shot from his hat, and removes a small bird from his beard that has a bump on its head.
New scene:
Curt and Pumpkinhead walk along with their guns ready
Curt: That ‘ere rabbit critter is bound to be around here somewheres… (he sees rabbit prints) on account of I sees his footie-prints
Pumpkinhead (points): Hey, there’s the varmint now
Bugs (singing to the tune of ‘Pop goes the Weasel’ as he walks): rumdebump de diddledy dump there goes the weasel
A gun shot fires across the scene, hitting the top of Bugs’ carrot. Another hits the bottom of his carrot
Bugs: persisterdent little cusses, ain’t they?
Curt: Get ‘im Pumpkinhead
Pumpkinhead: We got him cornered, Curt
They run towards Bugs
The camera cut to Bugs, who flees into a building painted red and marked ‘danger explosives’ in BIG LETTERS. Bugs shuts the door behind him. Curt and Pumpkinhead follow him into the building
Curt: He can’t escape us now!
Pumpkinhead: Where is he? Where’s the critter at?
Curt: Sakes a mighty, its so dark in here I can’t see nothing
Bugs: nyeee, let’s light up, here, use my lighter
Bugs quietly exits building,
:sound of lighter being tried:
Curt: Darned thing won’t work
:sound of lighter being tried:
Bugs sneaks away from building and waits under nearby tree
Bugs (calls out): Keep trying
:sound of lighter being tried:
The building explodes
Curt (comes out door of shed): I think you all are using too strong a fluid
New scene
Curt and Pumpkinhead are running down a hill
Curt: We’ll get that critter if’n it takes until doomsday
They run past a building marked ‘General Store’, with a big banner saying ‘Square dance tomorry night’ hung over the store name
Bugs, disguised as a scantily dressed girl, comes out of the store onto the porch.
Bugs whistles to hail the boys as they pass and then looks seductive
The boys screech to a stop and drop their guns
Bugs (sultry girl voice): whats your hurry, buys?
Pumpkinhead’s eyes are about to fall out of his head
Curt: Wahhoo, Nelly!
Pumpkinhead wolf whistles
The boys run back to the store
Bugs (sultry girl voice): Y’all care to practice with me for the square dancin’ tomorrow?
Curt (removes hat and bows): deeelighted, ma’am
Pumpkinhead (removes hat and bows): same likewise I’m sure, ma’am
Pumpkinhead (makes pussycat noises): rao, rao
They all enter the store, which is clear except for a jukebox
Bugs (sultry girl voice): Oh, ah, pardon me – one of you gents got a spare nickel so as I can juice up the juke box?
Pumpkinhead: Here you is
Curt rushes forward and grabs the nickel so that he is the one who actually hands it to Bugs
Curt: Ma’am
Bugs (sultry girl voice): Thanks just all-to-pieces
Bugs puts the coin in the juke box
Bugs (sultry girl voice): Sour belly trio coming right up
The juke box contains an animatronic square dance ensemble. Tuning-up sounds come from the juke box
Animatronic Caller: Lets all square dance
Animatronic Caller: Places all
The music starts and Bugs, Curt and Pumpkinhead follow the caller’s instructions
Animatronic Caller: Bow to your corner
Animatronic Caller: Bow to your own
Animatronic Caller: Three hands up and round you go
Animatronic Caller: Break it up with a dose-do
Animatronic Caller: Chicken in the bread pan, kicking out dough
Animatronic Caller: Skip to the Lou, my darling
Animatronic Caller: The old lady out, you pretty little thing. Promenade around the ring
Animatronic Caller: Big foot up and little foot down. Make that big foot jar the ground
Animatronic Caller: Lady step back and two gents in. Back you go and forward again
Animatronic Caller: Step right up with an elbow swing. Skip to the Lou my darling
Animatronic Caller: Allemande left with the old left hand
Bugs dances back to the jukebox,
Animatronic Caller: Follow through with the right and left grand
Animatronic Caller: Meet your honey with a great big smile
Bugs discards his girl-disguise, picks up a fiddle and puts on a big floppy hat
Animatronic Caller: Promenade Indian style
Bugs pulls the plug between the caller’s breaths, taking over the calling
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Promenade across the floor. Sashay right on out the door
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Out the door and into the glade. And everybody promenade
They leave the building and go down the steps to the road
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Step right up you’re doing fine. I’ll pull your beard, you pull mine
Curt and pumpkinhead pull each other’s beards
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Hit me again like you did before. Break it up with a tug of war
The boys cross the bridge, pulling each others beards
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Now into the brook and fish for the trout
The boys dive into the brook
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Dive right in and splash about. Trout, trout, pretty little trout
There is much splashing in the brook
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: One more splash and come rght out
The boys dance out of the pond, arm in arm
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Shake like a hound dog, shake again. Wallow around in the old pig pen
The boys dive into the mud
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Wallow some more, y’all know how. Roll around like an old fat sow
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Allemande left with your left hand. Follow through with a right and left brand
pumpkin head turns out to be dancing with the pig, who looks shy
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Now leave your partner the dirty old thing. Follow through with an elbow swing
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Grab a fence post hold it tight. Whamp your partner with all your might
the boys start hitting each other
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Hit him in the shin, hit him in the head. Hit him again, the critter ain’t dead
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Wamp him low and whamp him high. Stick your finger in his eye
The boys fight
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound. Bang your head against the ground
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Promemade all around the room. Promenade like a bride and groom
the boys march, hand in hand
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Open up the door and step right in
Bugs opens the door to the hay baler. The boys step inside and bugs shuts and locks the door
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Close the door and into a spin. Whirl, whirl, twist and twirl
Bugs turns on the baler
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Jump all around like a flying squirr’l
camera pans along the baler – its cleaer the boys are passing through the machine
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Now don’t you cuss and don’t you swear. just come right out and form a square
The boys are popped out of a toaster at the end of the baler, tied to bales of hay
The music continues, the boys are free from the bales
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Now right hand over and left hand under. Both join hands and run like thunder
the boys run
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Over the hill abnd over the dale. Duck your head (the boys duck under a tree branch) and lift your tail (the boys jump a fence)
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Don’t you stray and don’t you roam
the boys run right to the edge of a cliff
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Turn around and promenade home
The boys stop with one foot each over the edge, turn and come back, wiping sweat form their foreheads
Bugs, ‘square dance calling voice’: Corn in the breadbin, wheat in the sack. Turn your partner and promenade back
They take hands and walk back to the cliff edge. Holding hands, looking back over their shoulders at Bugs, they wlk off the edge of the cliff. They walk on air and then fall when they have tim to notice what they are doing
There is a falling sound and a thud when they land
The music continues, bug bugs is speaking now, not calling
Bugs: and now you’re home
Bugs: bow to your partner
The boys confusedly bow
Bugs: bow to the gent across the hall
Bugs: and that is all!~
Bugs plays fiddle
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6 Responses for "Hillbilly Hare"
Be a bit funnier if the ‘toon was still available for viewing.
D.
Thanks for letting me know! I found another copy and put the clip up
Guess I don’t check often enough. Gone again, or so it insists.
Thanks for trying Doc!
I have not seen this classic cartoon for AGES, and here I found it on your page. I watched it with glee with my wife and infant granddaughter and there was laughter rolling all around our living room as we watched. Thank you for having a gem from my early days available for viewing!
Thanks, John – glad you enjoyed it
The state shown on the map at the first of the cartoon was Arkansas, not Kansas.
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