Yosemite Sam takes on Bugs Bunny in the warm waters of the 16th century Caribbean. Sam is a pirate and Bugs is, well, just Bugs – causing mayhem for anyone who crosses him.


Scene: A tropical beach, with a pirate’s galleon in the bay, and a man digging on the sand, singing.

Man: ♪ 15 men on a dead man’s chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum ♪

The scene zooms in and we see that it is Yosemite Sam digging and singing.

Yosemite Sam (sings) : ♪ 15 men on a dead men’s chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of {his scansion changes to conga} Ma’s Old Fashioned Cider. Ma’s Old Fashioned Cider! ♪

Sam drops the chest in the hole he has dug, but the chest pops back up. Sam looks surprised and picks the chest back up and puts it back in the hole but again it springs back up. Sam is flabbergasted.

Bugs Bunny rises out of the hole, eating a carrot and adorned with many jewels. He looks admiringly at his shiny self.

Bugs Bunny: Nee… What’s up doc?

Yosemite Sam: What’s up doc? I ain’t no doc, I’m a pirate! Sea-goin’ Sam! The blood-thirstiest, shoot-em-firstiest, dog-gone-worstiest buccaneer as ever sailed the spanish main. Now give me them jewels.

Sam starts pulling the jewels off of Bugs

Yosemite Sam: Them’s my treasure and I’m burying them where no one will know where they’re at but me.

Bugs Bunny: Uhuh. And me.

Yosemite Sam: What? Why, say your prayers, varmint. Dead rabbits tell no tales.

Sam cocks his pistol and sticks it right in Bugs’ nose.

Bugs Bunny: Now just a minute, Red.

Bugs sticks his finger in the muzzle of Sam’s pistol and pushes it away.

Bugs Bunny: Aincha got that wrong? You mean dead *men* tell no tales…

Yosemite Sam: “Dead men tell no ta -” Say, you’re right. Well, doggone it, I reckon I ain’t got no alternative.

Sam faces the camera and points the gun at his own temple.

Bugs walks away, peeling a carrot.

Bugs Bunny: So long, Captain Kidneys.

Yosemite Sam: Ooooooooooohhhh!

Sam is so angry that when he grinds his teeth they all break and fall out of his head. Sam fires at the receding Bugs.

Bugs jumps up in alarm and runs away to the shore, where he jumps in a rowboat. He rows away, but the rowboat is still tied up. The boat stops, taut on the mooring line, but Bugs continues to row out to the galleon, skimming over the water.

Sam follows him to the rowboat, and finds there are no oars. He jumps into the water and swims out to the galleon, grabs the oars Bugs has abandoned, swims back to rowboat with the oars in his teeth, then rows to the galleon.

Sam boards the galleon but is shocked at who he finds there.

Yosemite Sam: Captain Bligh!

Sam stands to attention.

Bugs is dressed as Captain Bligh and stands in front of the mizzen mast.

Bugs Bunny (Captain Bligh voice): Mister Christian. Look at you, disgrace to the navy. This is mutiny, Mister Christian, mutiny that is.

Bugs approaches Sam with his fist raised, and Sam looks frightened.

Bugs Bunny (Captain Bligh voice): Avast there Mister Christian. Batten down the hatches.

Yosemite Sam: Aye aye, sir!

Sam salutes and runs off to the task.

Bugs Bunny (Captain Bligh voice): Man the bowsprit! Stow the missen mast! Gibe the gib boom!

Sam runs all over the ship to carry out the tasks.

Bugs Bunny (Captain Bligh voice): Hoist the mainsail and lower the tattersail! Look sharp man! Paint the starboard hatch to leeward, swats. Trim the scuppers on the port poop deck!

Bugs looks briefly exhausted from the flow of words, then he laughs.

Bugs Bunny (normal voice): Heeheehee! What a maroon! Heeheehee

Bugs leans on the mast, and Sam runs up to him and pulls a cutlass from his belt

Bugs Bunny: Yipe!

Bugs runs off, in a cloud of dust, and, unable to see clearly, Sam runs straight into the mast with a clang when he follows.

Sam slides down the mast to the deck.

Bugs runs and hides in a box on the deck. There is a parrot on a stand beside the box

Parrot: He’s in there! He’s in there! :whistle:

Bugs sticks his head out of the box and runs away again as Sam approaches.

Bugs runs and dives inside a large coil of rope. The parrot lands on a cannon beside the coil.

Parrot: He’s in here! He’s in here! :whistle:

Bugs sticks his head out, again sees Sam approaching and runs away, diving into a barrel. The parrot lands on a yardarm nearby.

Parrot: He’s in there! He’s in there! :whistle:

Bugs Bunny: Neee.. Polly want a cracker?

Parrot: :squawk: Polly want a cracker! Polly want a cracker! :whistle: Polly want a cracker!

Bugs lights a stick of dynamite and hands it to the parrot

Bugs Bunny: Here y’are, sweetheart.

The dynamite explodes, leaving the parrot covered in soot and missing most of his feathers.

Parrot: Me and my big mouth :squawk:

The parrot slides to the deck

Bugs dances back and forth atop a large cannon, pointing inside, as Sam approaches

Bugs Bunny (copying parrot’s voice): He’s in there, He’s in there :squawk:

Sam climbs in the mouth of the cannon

Bugs runs back along the cannon, lights a match and lights the fuse on the cannon. The cannon fires and Sam falls to the deck.

Bugs runs to the main mast and presses a button to bring the crows nest down to ground level.

He jumps inside and the crows nest goes back to the top of the mast.

Sam runs up after him and presses the button to bring the crows nest down. THe crows nest lands on him, squashing him into his pirate hat.

Sam runs back and forth a couple of time, then squeezes his hat back to the top of his head.

Yosemite Sam: Come on down here or I’ma comin’ up after you

Bugs Bunny: Sorry, elevator’s out of order. I’ll t’row you a rope.

Bugs drops a rope down from the crows nest and Sam starts to climb. He climbs straight up to a block and tackle, straight over it back down to the deck and hits his head on the deck.

New scene: Sam stands on one end of a see saw, holding a cannon ball. He throws the cannon ball onto the other end of the see saw and is thrown up into the air. Sam hits his head on the crows nest and falls back to the deck.

Yosemite Sam: Blast your scuppers you barnacle bitten land lubber! Come down here and fight like a man

Bugs Bunny: OK, shorty! Catch me! I’m gonna jump!

Bugs leans into the crows nest and picks up an anvil.

Bugs Bunny: Here I come!

Bugs pushes the anvil out of the crows nest and it falls to the deck below. Sam catches it and it pushes the whole boat under water, Bugs’ crows nest on the mast protruding. Underwater, Sam curses and throws the anvil away. The boat pops back out of the water.

Bugs jumps down from the crows nest. The water running off of Sam and a fish is flopping on the deck.

Bugs Bunny: Have a nice dip, drip?

Sam pulls a cutlass from his belt.

Bugs Bunny: What? Sore, again?!?

Sam swings his sword at Bugs, but Bugs jumps out of the way and the sword is stuck in the mast. Sam tries to pull it out.

Bugs Bunny: What a nasty disposition!

Sam finally gets the sword out of the mast and swings it at Bugs again. Bugs runs away, jumping over the side of the boat and re-entering through one of the cannon ports.

Yosemite Sam: Ooooooooooohhhh, I’ll keelhaul you for this!

Sam opens the cannon port to follow Bugs but a cannon fires into his face.

Bugs leans out of the next cannon port and waves at Sam

Bugs Bunny: Yoohoo! Mr Pirate!

Bugs lets the cannon port close and Sam runs along the ledge to the port and opens it. Again a cannon fires into his face.

Bugs opens yet another cannon port and waves at Sam

Bugs Bunny: Oh, ah, Redbeard!

Sam runs up to this cannon port, but steps back, finally cautious. He reaches out with his sword to open the port from a distance, but is inadvertently standing in front of yet another cannon port, which opens and fires at him.

Yosemite Sam: Ooooooooooohhhh!

New Scene: Bugs is sitting in a deck-chair with sunglasses and a hat on. There is a blanket over his knees. He is reading a book and chewing on a carrot. Suddenly, he looks to his right, surprised.

Sam is running along the deck towards Bugs, sword raised.

Bugs jumps up from his deck-chair in alarm.
He approaches the poop-deck. There are stairs leading to the higher deck left and right of the ship, two doors between the stairs on the lower deck and two doors on the upper deck.

Bugs runs up the left stairs and enters the left upper door, slamming it behind him.

Sam also runs up the left hand stairs, but before he can open the left hand door, he sees Bugs run out of the lower right hand door.

Bugs enters the lower left door and slams it shut behind him

Sam runs down the left hand stairs, but before he can open the lower left door, he sees Bugs run out of the upper left door.

Bugs runs across the Poop deck to the right hand door, opens it, enters and slams it shut behind him.

Sam runs up the right hand stairs, but before he can open the upper right door, Bugs runs out of the upper left door, down the left hand stairs, opens the lower left hand door and slams it shut behind him.

Sam runs down the right hand stairs but before he can open the lower left door, Bugs runs out of the lower right door, runs around in a circle and runs back in the lower right hand door.

Sam opens the lower right hand door – and a cannon shoots him in the face.

When the smoke clears, Sam is covered in soot and has tattered clothes. He shakes off the soot.

Sam sees Bugs, who is leaning on a barrel beside a cellar labeled ‘Danger Gun-Powder’

Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, varmint!

Bugs calmly lights a match and throws it into the gunpowder cellar

Yosemite Sam: Nooooo!

Sam runs down the stairs and puts out the match then comes back up.

Yosemite Sam: Why you crazy dog-gawned idjit! Whacha trying to do? Blow us to smithereens?

Bugs calmly lights another match and throws it into the cellar again.

Yosemite Sam: Noooo!

Sam again runs down to the cellar and puts out the match then comes back up.

Yosemite Sam: Blast your ornery hide. if you does that just once more, I ain’t-a going after it

Bugs calmly lights another match and throws it in the cellar.

Sam crosses his arm, hums and looks at the sky while tapping his toe.

The sweat is pouring off him while he plays with a yoyo, glancing down into the cellar.

Bugs calmly files his nails while Sam plays jacks with five-pointed jacks and a ball.

Yosemite Sam: Ooooooooooohhhh!!!!

Finally, Sam can’t bear it and runs down the stairs to put out the match.

The cellar explodes.

Pieces of timber land on the beach, including the entire area that Bugs and Sam are standing on. Sam is still in mid-dash.

Bugs Bunny: Neee didn’t make it?

Yosemite Sam: Ooooooooooohhhh! I’ll blast your head off for this!

Sam points a gun at Bugs and Bugs looks alarmed. Bugs runs away across the sand and Sam follows. Bugs dives into his rabbit hole. Sam screeches to a halt beside the rabbit hole.

Yosemite Sam: All right now, I got you cornered. Come out and meet your doom

Sam sticks his head down the rabbit hole. The rabbit hole explodes.

When the smoke clears, its clear that Bugs had a cannon in his rabbit hole and thats what Sam stuck his head in.

Bugs stands, casually chewing a carrot

Sam pulls his head out of the cannon and weakly waves a white flag

Bugs laughs and dons an admiral’s hat.

Bugs Bunny: Heeheehee! I have not even begun to fight!

That’s All Folks!