Transcript

Opening Scene

A lovely pastoral spot, Elmer Fudd has just pulled up in his stylish car and brings some boxes from the trunk over under a tree.

Elmer Fudd: Oh boy, this is an ideal spot for a 4th of July picnic!

He puts the boxes down, and goes back to the car for more.

Elmer: I can hardly wait to shoot off my fire cwackers and wockets and woman candles.
(I can hardly wait to shoot off my firecrackers and rockets and roman
candles.)

New Scene:

There is now a large collection of boxes of fireworks, and Elmer has put up a tent.
He wipes the sweat away from his face, having finished his hard work.

Elmer: Well, that’s that. And now to shoot off some fire cwackers
(And now to shoot off some firecrackers)

Elmer strikes a match and lights a firecracker. He throws it and it goes bang.

Elmer: Whee! Hooway for the 4th of July!

Elmer throws another firecracker, which rolls up, next to an ant’s nest.
An ant pokes his head out, curious at the noise.

Elmer: Whee! Hooway! Hooway!

Elmer: Fwee cheers for the wed, white and blue!
(Three cheers for the red, white and blue!)

The ant comes out of dirt mound, peers and sniffs at the lit firecracker.
The firecracker explodes in ant’s face.
The ant is knocked over and covered in soot.
The ant gets up and yells incomprehensibly at Elmer.

Elmer is holding a lit match, ready to light another cracker and laughs at the ant.
Elmer: Hahahahaha! That wittle ant can’t take it!
(That little ant can’t take it!)

An evil smile spreads across Elmer’s face. He grabs another firecracker and throws it at the ant.

Elmer: Here’s where I have some fun.

The firecracker rolls up to the ant’s nest where several ants are milling around. They all recognise it and run away. The firecracker explodes.

Elmer smiles and lights and throws a series of crackers at the ant’s nest.
The ant’s nest is now a smoking ruin.

An ant pops out of the hill and shakes his fist at Elmer

Ant: Of course you know, this means war!

The ant jumps up and hides in anthill. Another firecracker explodes next to anthill. Ant looks out and glares.

New Scene:

Camera zooms in on a box marked “Capitol Soap Co”. The words “Soap Co” have been scribbled out.

Inside, in a layout reminiscent of congress, an old ant wearing glasses is making a speech, speaking ant language and gesticulating. The audience applauds the speech.

New Scene:

2 ants are at a glass bowl full of folded slips of paper.
One ant, blindfolded, pulls a piece of paper from the bowl and hands it to the other ant.

New Scene:

A letterbox stands beside an anthill.
A postman’s whistle blows and an ant pops it’s head out of the anthill, jumps out and delicately runs over to the letterbox where there is a very normal stamped envelope.
The ant takes the letter from the post-box, takes one look at the back of it and faints dead away.
Camera zooms in on the letter, which says:

Greetings from the president. You have been selected to register for military service … Draft Board

New Scene:

A sign labelled “Boot Camp”.
Beyond it, we can see a series of boots, upended as living quarters.
Ants are walking into camp.

New Scene:

An ant stands on top of a hillock, blowing a horn.

New Scene:

Rows of ants, 4 abreast, marching along a path, all wearing green helmets with rifles over their shoulder.

New Scene:

We return to Elmer Fudd and find him asleep outside his tent.
A large ring of ants surrounds the tent.
We see a select group of 7 ants sneak up to his box of fireworks and carry it off scene
The camera returns to Elmer, still asleep.
A lit firecracker bounces into scene and lands on his nose.
Elmer wakes, stares at the lit firecracker and waves his arms violently about to dislodge it, losing his hat in the process.
It explodes just by his head.
Elmer looks around and sees the ring of ants and looks angry

Elmer: OK ants, if it’s war you want (runs off-screen, comes back with a saucepan helmet) its war you’ll get!

Lots of firecrackers explode around Elmer.
He jumps about and runs off scene.

New Scene:

Elmer has dug a foxhole outside his tend and we see him peer over the edge.

Three ants stand beside mousetraps loaded with crackers while a 4th leads them. They are shielded from Elmer’s view by a fallen log.

Officer ant: Fire one!

The first ant sets off a mousetrap, sending the firecracker flying towards Elmer.

Officer ant: Fire two!

The second ant sets off a mousetrap, sending the firecracker flying towards Elmer.

Officer ant: Fire three!

The third ant sets off a mousetrap, sending the firecracker flying towards Elmer.

Elmer looks horrified at the incoming barrage. He ducks down into the foxhole as the crackers explode in the air around him.

An ant is supporting a cigar-shaped device labelled ‘Kazooka’. A second ant loads firecrackers in and they fly off with a big explosion.

Elmer peers over the bunker lip and a cracker blows his saucepan-hat off.

Elmer, shaking his fist: You wascals! You won’t get away with this!

While Elmer is talking an ant, which was hiding in Elmer’s box of crackers, drops a lit firecracker in his helmet.

Elmer turns and puts his helmet back on.

The helmet jiggles around and Elmer looks concerned.

The cracker in the helmet explodes in a cloud of black smoke and Elmer is blown into the ground. The helmet lies on the ground beside the hole.

Elmer appears out of the ground, blackened and looking shocked.

New Scene:

Elmer Fudd sneaks across some open ground on his hands and knees with a lit firecracker with an evil look on his face.
He pushes the cracker down one of several anthills and plugs the hole with his finger.
The cracker explodes and ants are blown out of the other anthills, and walk around in circles, stunned.
Elmer Fudd smiles and creeps away.

Elmer: Hehehe

An ant creeps up the side of Elmer’s foxhole with an ant-sized explosive in hand.
Elmer peeps over the edge and looks down at the ant with an angry expression.
The ant sees Elmer, jumps in fear, throws the cracker onto the side of the foxhole in front of him, and then runs away.
Elmer looks down at the tiny explosive and smiles.
He picks it up and a huge explosion occurs, out of proportion to the size of the firecracker.
The smoke clears and Elmer looks at the fourth wall, shocked, covered in black soot.

New scene:

Elmer is lighting and throwing firecrackers from his foxhole to his right off scene.
A periscope rises behind him and Elmer hears a sound from it.
He looks around, sees the periscope and, with an evil grin, stuffs a lit firecracker down it.
At the other end of the periscope, a Private is looking through the periscope and jumps in shock at what he sees.
An officer runs up behind him, drags him away from the periscope and kicks him in the butt. The Private walks away. The officer considers the periscope and then walks over to look through it. As soon as he looks in the periscope the incoming cracker explodes. The private walks back over concerned, and the officer turns on him and kicks him repeatedly as they both move off scene.

New Scene:

Elmer stands at the edge of the foxhole and address the ants.

Elmer: Why don’t you ants go under gwound where you bewong?!
(Why don’t you ants go under ground where you belong?)

While Elmer is talking, an ant creeps up from behind him and puts a firecracker in his back pocket.
Elmer feels something and looks over his shoulder.
He realises what the ant is doing and looks angry.
The ant lights the cracker then, realising he has been spotted, throws the match away and blows on and jumps on the fuse to put out the cracker.
The ant takes the now unlit cracker out of Elmer’s pocket and offers it to Elmer, who takes it, and then backs away waving goodbye.
Elmer frowns after him, and then looks surprised at something moving below camera shot.
He lifts the cracker into view and the top of the cracker flips off and a small black bomb rises out the cracker on a spring. The bomb is too big to have fit inside the cracker (cartoon magic). Elmer holds onto the cracker but turns his head away and shields his face with his arm.
The bomb explodes and Elmer appears unharmed, but his arm and analog watch are blackened and his shirt sleeve destroyed and then the glass watch face cracks and falls out and then the clockwork interior of the watch hang out on springs from the device.

New Scene:

We see a wooden crate, upended, labelled ‘Headquarters’
A pipe is extending across the ground towards the crate.
In the dugout, Elmer is screwing pipes together and pushing them out.
Inside Headquarters, some ants see the pipe come in the doorway.
They jump in alarm and run off.
They return with a box labelled ‘rubber bands’
One ant nails a rubber band across the doorway, and pipe.
Back in the foxhole, Elmer puts a lit firecracker in the pipe and gives a big blow to send it on its way.
The cracker arrives in Headquarters, hits the rubber band and bounces straight back.
Elmer hadn’t even had time to get off the pipe.
He swallows the lit firecracker and turns a terrible shade of green and looks horrified.
Elmer runs off scene to a water cooler. He drinks directly from the tap.
We see the level of the water cooler drop to almost nothing, then hear an explosion and all the water – and Elmer – end up back in the water cooler bottle.

New Scene:

Elmer throws lit firecrackers at the ants in rapid succession.
An ant set some lit fire crackers up on a suit case, then springs it open, causing the fire crackers to fly at Elmer, where they explode.
Elmer throws crackers even faster, but with a blackened face.

New Scene

We see the royal flying ants line up for takeoff.
They takeoff one by one and we see them fly in formation.
Large numbers of ants are in the sky each holding a firecracker.
The leader waggles his wings to show he’s going in and descends.
His team follow.
A screeching descent ends with each ant dropping his bomb and swooping up.
The bombs drop around Elmer who runs back and forth, trying to avoid the small explosions.

New Scene

On a nearby pond, a wooden crate labelled ‘Big Mo’, with a paper sail attached to a stick mast and a canon booming on the front advances across camera shot. There are 4 ants aboard, one of which is wearing a commodore’s hat.
A sardine tin labelled ‘Little Shmo’ follows. There is only one ant aboard and the cannon on front is putting out little puffs.

New Scene

Elmer leaps and runs, trying to get back to his foxhole, while the enemy air force harasses him.
Reaching the foxhole, he carries away a huge armful of crackers and puts them into a wheelbarrow.
He runs back and grabs his hat, not realising the firecrackers are broken, and all the gunpowder is leaking out of them.

Elmer, shaking his fist: You’ll never take me awive!!
(You’ll never take me alive!!)

Elmer grabs his wheelbarrow of firecrackers and runs – unaware he is leaving a trail of gunpowder behind him.
He runs down the road, and far away.
The ants find this trail and light it.
The lit trail follows Elmer.
Nothing happens for a second, and then the sky turns orange from a huge explosion.
We go back to the ants and fire works appear in the sky.
The ants salute the fire works.