Apparently Bugs Bunny is far older than any of us knew and was also alive in the time of the Roman Empire. This episode sees him encountering Yosemite Sam again, this time Sam is a Legionnaire, out to capture Bugs as a star feature against the lions in the Coliseum!


Rome 54 AD

Sign: Another Appian Freeway for your safety. Slow chariots keep right

Sign: Coliseum today
Detroit Lions in Season Opener
Undefeated lions out for first taste of victory

We see the shadows of roman citizens and legionnaires walking by

Trumpets blare announcing the start of the coliseum

Scene: The coliseum

Announcer: What a sight! The coliseum is packed to the brim! A great day for the big event!

Soldiers blowing trumpets enter the coliseum, followed by a cohort marching

Announcer: And here comes Emperor Nero

Nero, wearing a laurel wreath, enters the coliseum in a chariot suspiciously reminiscent of a 1955 Thunderbird.

Scene: Nero is now in his box, with a view of the coliseum grounds

Announcer: Emperor Nero has kindly consented to throw out the first victim

Nero: OK, give me the victim, give me the victim! Come on!

A soldier: but sire – we’re all out of victims

Nero: Out of victims? Captain of the guards!

Yosemite Sam dressed as a Roman legionnaire approaches and salutes Nero.

Nero: Get me a victim right away! Or you’ll be the victim

Sam leaps in the air in horror and runs off to find a victim

Yosemite Sam: Oooh! What a grouch!

Sam stops and blows his trumpet to summon his cohort of men. A group of legionnaires assembled, but very clumsily, with lots of banging into each other.

Yosemite Sam: Fall in! Forward march!

Sam turns and marches away and the cohort follows

Yosemite Sam: Hut-2-3-4, Hut-2-3-4, Hut-2-3-4…

They march out town down the roman road, with Sam calling the beat. THey pass a gentle hillside, holding a rabbit hole. Bugs Bunny sticks his head of the hole, gnawing on a carrot.

Bugs Bunny:Neeee…

Yosemite Sam: Hut-2-3-4, Hut-2-3-4, Hut-2-3-4…

Bugs Bunny:What’s that? A parade! Oh, boy, I love parades!

Bugs hops out of his rabbit hole to go and see what the parade is about. He catches up with the troop of men and marches beside Sam

Yosemite Sam: Hut-2-3-4, Hut-2-3-4, Hut-2-3-4…

Bugs Bunny:Neeee… What’s up, Doc? Roman Legion convention or something?

Yosemite Sam: Hut-2-3-4 … No, it ain’t no Roman Legion convention. I got to find a victim to feed to the lions.

Bugs Bunny:Looks like you’re out of luck, Doc. No-one’s around but me. So long.

Bugs walks away while realization dawns on Sam that Bugs is a victim

Yosemite Sam: Hmmm… Get that rabbit! CHARRRRRGE!

Sam and the cohort run after Bugs

Bugs see them coming and runs behind some ruins. As the Romans approach he sticks out a foot, tripping most of the troupe, but not sam.

Bugs Bunny:Oops!

Bugs runs away and sam jumps into a chariot with a black horse in front to follow.

Yosemite Sam: Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, mule! giddyap! Hya, hya, mule!

The horse, slow to start, then runs off very suddenly. Sam is left behind but hanging onto the reins drags him after. He lands in the chariot disheveled. THe horse catches up to, then passes bugs.

Yosemite Sam: Woah, woah, woah mule! Woaaaah, Mule!

The horse is resistant to stop, then does stop so suddenly that the chariot flies over the horse and squashes Sam

Bugs Bunny:eh, these hot rod kids

Yosemite Sam: You moth eaten rabbit!

Sam runs up to bugs, his helmet squashed down over his head, and swings the sword at him

Yosemite Sam: I’ll slice you to ribbons!

Sam, unable to see, flails wildly with the sword.

Bugs runs away and sam trips, releasing him from the helmet.

Bugs runs into the coliseum, passing a sign saying ‘beware of the lions.

Sam picks up a wooden club and follows

Bugs runs down a stone corridor and past a grill holding a lion.

Sam follows Bugs and stops in front of the lion’s den.

Yosemite Sam: Now where’d that skunk of a rabbit go?

The lion roars, making Sam jump

Yosemite Sam: why, you mangy fang-toothed critter

Sam uses the wooden club to hit the lion over the head, leaving the lion woozy

Yosemite Sam: take that! Maybe that’ll learn you to keep your big mouth shut.

Yosemite Sam: That fur-bearing varmint is around here somewhere!

Further own the corridor, Bugs turns a handle that raises the cage door

The lions roars

Yosemite Sam: How many times do I have to tell you … to… shut …… up?

Sam realizes the bars are no longer keeping the lion away from him.

Sam runs away and the lion roars again and follows.

Sam runs through a door and shuts and bars it, then stands on the mat in front of the door

Yosemite Sam: Wait till I lay my hands on that varmint! I’ll

The lion reaches under the door to grab the mat Sam is standing on, dragging him under the door.

The sounds of a beating come through the door

Sam is returned under the door well beaten with clothes in rags

Scene: Bugs runs up some stairs then stops in surprise and runs back down.

Sam chases Bugs down the stairs

Bugs runs down a corridor with Sam right behind him and through a doorway. He manages to slam the door in Sam’s face.

In the room, Bugs realizes he is in a room full of sleeping lions.

Sam adjust his helmet then shoulders the door open.

He finds bugs is tippy-toeing halfway across the room

Bugs turns and puts his finger to his lips to tell sam to be quiet.

Sam follows on tippy toe

Bugs climbs the ladder set into the wall of cell to an access-hole in the ceiling then lowers down alarm clock that goes off

The noisy alarm clock wakes all the lions who attack Sam.

Bugs puts the lid on the access hole and walks away.

Sam fights his way out of the access hole and jumps on the lid to get the lions to stay in there.

Sam runs after bugs, and comes to the edge of a pit that is blocking the width of the corridor, full of lions, with Bugs on the other side. He screeches to a halt at the edge.

The lions in the pit look at Sam.

Bugs is grinning at Sam from the other side

Bugs Bunny:How now brown cow?

Yosemite Sam: no long eared galoot can outfox the captain of the guard

Sam runs off and comes back with a pair of stilts

Yosemite Sam: OK, rabbit! Now lets see who is the smartest!

Bugs Bunny (calmly): oh! it looks like you have outsmarted me. Oh woah is me

Sam walks across the pit on stilts, with the lions trying to jump up at him. Sam stops, hits a lion with a club and yells at them

Yosemite Sam: Ah, shaddup!

Bugs Bunny: Here. lions

Bugs throws a selection of tools in the pit

Sawing noises are heard below sam. Sam looks horrified and makes a run back to his side of the pit, the stilts getting shorter and shorter as he goes.

Sam drops below our view on the stilts until he disappears, then gets higher as he runs on air to get away from the lions, until he is safe back on his side of the pit

Yosemite Sam (exhausted): I hates rabbits

Bugs Bunny: I better get out of here while the getting’s good

Bugs runs through an unbarred door

Sam quickly bars the door behind him

Bugs funds himself on the main floor of the coliseum. The crowd cheers!

Sam runs up to report to Nero, happy

Yosemite Sam: There’s your victim, your Neroship

Nero: Release the lions!

On the floor of the coliseum, a door is opened and the lions come roaring out.

Bugs looks frightened and ducks and covers his eyes, but the lions run straight past him, heading for Sam and, consequently, Nero.

Sam and Nero climb a column to get away from the lions, but the lions are slowly shortening the column

Bugs dons Nero’s fallen lauren wreath

Bugs Bunny: Well, like the Romans always say: E Pluribus uranium

Nero and Sam clutch each other as the column shakes as the lions attack it

The lions start to swipe out sections from the bottom of the column

Nero stands tall, playing his fiddle, as he gets lower and lower. Sam holds his hat. (Scene is reminiscent of a ship going down)